我是想隐藏自己。
因为我感到有人在偷窥在算计着我的生活。
很有爱学姐在2号线上和我说的话让我眼睛里满是泪水。
那一刻我感到自己所有的自诩聪明和尊严都丢掉了。
可是我还是不想失去那些属于自己的东西。
事情过去了很久了，又似乎根本没有过去。我觉得自己很累。我也知道都是自找的。
今天是忙碌的一天。但是我没有慌张和害怕。
我只是空着肚子跑东跑西，缴费，取化验单，取药，无数次找医生。
有几次头晕，在她输液旁边的床位下面的垃圾桶吐了很多血，却像个做错了事的孩子，在清扫垃圾的阿姨来更换垃圾袋时，心虚的说里面没有垃圾。
那时候就会很矛盾。不想让别人为我慌张，却又希望有人来紧张我关怀我。
一下午就坐在床边，大脑和肚子都空空的，却什么都不想吃也不想考虑。我只是心疼我面前那个苍白着脸睡梦中还皱着眉头的孩子。也许因为太执着因为太真实，她不惜伤害自己为难自己。看到护士把冰冷的针刺进她的皮肤，她只是漠然的看着，心里就生生的替她疼替她辛苦，若是我，便是拼了命也要保护眼前的女子不受伤害。然而也许吧，每个人都有自己的无可奈何。他们来了之后我才放松下来。然后整个人轻飘飘的似乎在蒸发。
我很想找个人抱着大哭一场。尽管自己也说不清为什么。
仅仅是失落。也恨那个我心疼的孩子不珍惜自己。
保重身体～多点体育锻炼啥的～想念你
博主 对 saguaro 的回复: 2009-02-28 13:53:12
miss u.
你也要照顾好自己。
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